Wanderlust

My name is Canyon, 

                                Canyon Mount.

I love the Canyon. But I guess you probably could've guessed that cause it's literally written in my name. I love the pine trees, the sound of the creek rushing by on its way to new places. I love the break I get from the crazy world around me when I go in nature. No service, No agenda just the chance to get away and take an adventure. I love the different seasons and how they completely match my mood when I'm in nature. I love the fresh air that I take in that makes me recognize the pure beauty that surrounds me. I wish I was better at telling people how I really feel. Expecially about this.

When I'm in nature there's always that moment where the world freezes and I have absolutely no care in the world. I don't have to worry about college or the fight I just had with my parents. But sooner or later life will be over because life doesn't freeze its on fast forward.

Nature is the grasshoppers clicking in the dry air. It's the silver-white moon hanging in glory. It's watching the horizon drain of color. Nature is when I'm alone and I think and think and think. Nature is my daily therapy session. Nature isn't just a place to visit. It's home.

                       ITS MY HOME.

Tribute to the Departed

I saw you.
I saw you standing there smiling and acting all normal. But what i didn't know at the time is that you weren't happy. You weren't actually functioning the way that everyone else was.
Guilt
I never knew what that really meant until you faced it all alone. And of course i didn't know. I didn't know you were struggling. I wish i did. Because your beautiful face, your long hair, your magnifying smile is engraven in my heart and soul.
This is for you.
I am at a loss of words. The fact is i always admired you. The way you were able to engage with so many friends and have FUN. But i didn't know it was an act. You are the one who i always had a crush on. You were the one who was in the background to everyone else but not to me.
I wonder.
I wonder if you knew this now if it would've stopped you from taking your life. I wonder if i had just been a little less self centered and self conscious if it would've made an impact on you. I should've just smiled at you instead of acting "cool". I should've done so many things because who knows.
Who knows what it would've done to save you.
This world isn't the same without you being there to brighten up everyone's day.
So this is a tribute to the Departed Soul that brought laughter to my life.
You will be missed.

Dark Mornings

Dark Mornings know me best
they get the fears that I confess.
The cold heart that I've grown to know
will never let me begin to grow.

Fear of love, Fear of hate.
Fear of the future and what it holds.
Fear of people and their thoughts.
Fear of losing my own hope.

People pass me day to day
wondering how I became this way.
The loss of love, the loss of faith.
The loss of people along the way.

Afraid of giving to much love.
Afraid of being stepped on.
Afraid of not reaching my potential.
Afraid of you being completely gone.

My tears won't appear tonight
Im all cried dry.
Scarlet drops replace them now.
Im dead inside and out.

Scared of letting myself go.
Scared of letting the world know.
Scared of what you do to me.
Making me be completely free.

#STOLEN

#STOLEN

(I'll be updated every week with my favorite quote)

"sixteen was like trying to paint with a shaking hand."

- Arabella 

"We fear the bad. and we only tell people the good."

-Navy Skye

Don't get to comfortable

I WOULD GIVE ANYTHING TO FEEL COMFORTABLE IN MY OWN SKIN. To carry myself with confidence that shows everyone around me that I know where I am going. To talk without being afraid of what people think of me. 

Truth is I say I don't care what people think of me when I really do, I think everybody cares to some extent of what people think of them. Truth is I don't know where the hell I'm going but I'm okay with that because ive got time to figure that all out. And truth is I'm terrified to grow up. Truth is I went to sadies with a quiet guy last night because I love silence every once and a while.

I've often wondered why I'm not that girl that talks about everything with everyone without a care in the world, I wish I was. But then I realized that I compare myself to others around me too much and how unhealthy that is. It's time I stopped. AND THEN I WOULD FINALLY FEEL COMFORTABLE IN MY OWN SKIN.

How to be BASIC

Steps in becoming a BASIC WHITE GIRL

1. Be afraid to be judged.

2. Care about your appearance way too much.

3. Become addicted to Starbucks even if you think it's disgusting.

4. Watch Netflix everyday and tell people that it's your boyfriend.

5. Have a million selfies on your phone.

6. Be insecure about everything.

7. Assume your unique when your actually a BASIC WHITE GIRL.

Differences

Yeah, I'm different. But so are you..

-I have a phobia of feet if they come remotely near me I have a heart attach, literally.

-I don't care to wear makeup at all because I'm too lazy, I'd rather sleep in then have people think I look pretty.

-I'd rather be in the Mountains than at the beach. It's a different kind of beauty in the mnts than anywhere else.

-I've always wanted to be homeless. Well not in the way that you beg for money but just the thought that I wouldn't have to pay bills and wouldn't have  obligations for anything. I could live anywhere I wanted and work from the bottom up.

-My best friends are my siblings even though more than half of the time we're in a fight or just sick of each other.

-I'm a romantic in all ways but haven't had my first kiss yet.

-id rather sit and watch a movie than go to a party.

-I'm horrible at rapping, while the rest of my family is really good at it.

-I'm addicted to thrifting, I can't handle not getting the best stuff for an amazing price.

-my eyes change from blue to green to gray.

- I'm not a normal girl, I hate drama. 

-I'm a major backseat driver.

- I hate B&W movies but love B&W pictures.

LIFE'S TOO SHORT TO EVEN CARE AT ALL, SO I DON'T.