To: High School From: Canyon

Man, High School. Why you so lame?
I thought you were going to be the time of my life but life has passed and all I'm left with is an empty bottle and loneliness.
You weren't meant to be this way.
full of sorrow, guilt and regret.
and I'm only 18.
My parent's think I have everything in check but I have no clue what I am doing.
I think I've changed from the girl I used to be.
And I miss her. Alot.
She was funny and loud.
She was one for the crowd.
But I'm on fast-forward heading for adulthood and sadly, I have to leave her behind.
and I'm only 18.
Another year rounding and sooner or later you'll be over.
But I'm not ready for that.
I'm not ready for the bills and meals.
I'm not ready for the gas and tax.
Just stay a little longer, please.
Just go a little slower, please.
Cause maybe I can change your fate.
I can be more out of this world and care-free.
I'm guessing it's bout time I be.
Cause I'm only 18 and life is ahead of me.

Broke

I broke my heart loving you.

But that was what you were meant to do.

mistakes, and regrets are passing through.

The only thing in my heart is you.

Get out now, Damn it.

Because I can't handle caring for a broken love anymore. 

I'm done being at war. 

I was once the face that you'd adore.

What changed?

Or was I just a toy.

I wanted you always and you wanted me then.

A one sided romance, beginning to end.

You ran far away, I begged you to stay.

You tore me apart, leaving me with a broken heart.

People always say keep your head up, and heart strong.

But I can't help thinking this is where you belong.

Wanderlust

My name is Canyon, 

                                Canyon Mount.

I love the Canyon. But I guess you probably could've guessed that cause it's literally written in my name. I love the pine trees, the sound of the creek rushing by on its way to new places. I love the break I get from the crazy world around me when I go in nature. No service, No agenda just the chance to get away and take an adventure. I love the different seasons and how they completely match my mood when I'm in nature. I love the fresh air that I take in that makes me recognize the pure beauty that surrounds me. I wish I was better at telling people how I really feel. Expecially about this.

When I'm in nature there's always that moment where the world freezes and I have absolutely no care in the world. I don't have to worry about college or the fight I just had with my parents. But sooner or later life will be over because life doesn't freeze its on fast forward.

Nature is the grasshoppers clicking in the dry air. It's the silver-white moon hanging in glory. It's watching the horizon drain of color. Nature is when I'm alone and I think and think and think. Nature is my daily therapy session. Nature isn't just a place to visit. It's home.

                       ITS MY HOME.

Tribute to the Departed

I saw you.
I saw you standing there smiling and acting all normal. But what i didn't know at the time is that you weren't happy. You weren't actually functioning the way that everyone else was.
Guilt
I never knew what that really meant until you faced it all alone. And of course i didn't know. I didn't know you were struggling. I wish i did. Because your beautiful face, your long hair, your magnifying smile is engraven in my heart and soul.
This is for you.
I am at a loss of words. The fact is i always admired you. The way you were able to engage with so many friends and have FUN. But i didn't know it was an act. You are the one who i always had a crush on. You were the one who was in the background to everyone else but not to me.
I wonder.
I wonder if you knew this now if it would've stopped you from taking your life. I wonder if i had just been a little less self centered and self conscious if it would've made an impact on you. I should've just smiled at you instead of acting "cool". I should've done so many things because who knows.
Who knows what it would've done to save you.
This world isn't the same without you being there to brighten up everyone's day.
So this is a tribute to the Departed Soul that brought laughter to my life.
You will be missed.