Tribute to the Departed

I saw you.
I saw you standing there smiling and acting all normal. But what i didn't know at the time is that you weren't happy. You weren't actually functioning the way that everyone else was.
Guilt
I never knew what that really meant until you faced it all alone. And of course i didn't know. I didn't know you were struggling. I wish i did. Because your beautiful face, your long hair, your magnifying smile is engraven in my heart and soul.
This is for you.
I am at a loss of words. The fact is i always admired you. The way you were able to engage with so many friends and have FUN. But i didn't know it was an act. You are the one who i always had a crush on. You were the one who was in the background to everyone else but not to me.
I wonder.
I wonder if you knew this now if it would've stopped you from taking your life. I wonder if i had just been a little less self centered and self conscious if it would've made an impact on you. I should've just smiled at you instead of acting "cool". I should've done so many things because who knows.
Who knows what it would've done to save you.
This world isn't the same without you being there to brighten up everyone's day.
So this is a tribute to the Departed Soul that brought laughter to my life.
You will be missed.